This Is Exactly What You Should Do When People Make You Feel Ugly

READING TIME    5 Minutes

The recent Anushka-bashing-Virat-defending-her episode on Social Media got me thinking again about why people today love to hate. It's really unfortunate that we all wish to be loved, yet, some would easily jump to hating on others. If you've been a victim of hate or cyber bullying, this should be inspiration enough for you to tackle those a-holes.

But first, let's understand what builds hate in people. Haters are usually people who are insecure. Know this. It has been established time and again that if people hate on you or criticize you without you having harmed them in any way, they most definitely are jealous of or intimidated by you. And their hate directed towards you is only their defense mechanism. Because they know no better.

"Not all insecure people are haters, but all haters are insecure people."
~ Jack Schafer, Professor and Author

Whether you're a person who actively voices out their opinions or not, as long as you're on social platforms, you've most definitely experienced some kind of hatred - directed towards you or one of your social connections. But, it's amazing how people have started taking hate on social media, turning it into something nicer, and throwing it back into the digital universe. Earlier last year, Australian academic, Susan Carland decided to donate $1 to UNICEF for every hate tweet she received.

I donate $1 to @UNICEF for each hate-filled tweet I get from trolls. Nearly at $1000 in donations. The needy children thank you, haters! 😎

More recently, Lynelle Cantwell, a student at Holy Trinity Regional High, discovered a poll that was doing the rounds in her class. It was a poll to know who was the ugliest girl in school was.

spoll

Lynelle took to Facebook, head held high, to lash out at the boys behind the poll. And her post got some huge response. Source: facebook.comSource: facebook.com


The very recent tweet by cricketer Virat Kohli, in which he defended ex-girlfriend Anushka, was a fine example of how non-victims too, are standing up against haters and bullies, and supporting those unjustly targetted.

This understanding of haters and bullies has led to many people coming up with ways to easily tackle them. Here are some:
  • Be calm, and don't react. Because that's exactly what insecure people look for - attention. And knowing you got affected by their snarky remarks, will make them feel like they have some sort of power on you.
  • But if you must, respond - instead of giving into stimuli, take a couple of milliseconds, and come up with a quip instead to tell them off.
  • Don't take what they say, personally. Remember, it's not you, it's them.
  • Know your own strengths (and weaknesses), and concentrate on those (the strengths, of course) instead.
  • Know your opponents' strengths and weaknesses too. Then point them all, and say, "You see, like I just pointed out, you have some strengths and weaknesses too. We all do. So, we're all the same."
If you know of someone who is a victim of bullying (or any other form of hatred), share this article with them. Also, share your thoughts about hate on social media. Leave a comment below or tweet me @enigmagnetic



Note: This is an updated piece and we're sharing it again, because we stand against cyber bullying and hating. We wish for more people to be inspired to support and defend those who are victimized.



This article was originally published here in January 2016.

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