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9 Awesome Life Lessons Everyone Can Learn From Our Own Superhero – Hrithik Roshan


FINISHED! was the headline of one of the newspapers, after one of the biggest emerging stars of Bollywood had delivered a string of flops. Being a star-son, and coming from a lineage, which has Bollywood in its blood, this quickly fading star was labelled as a one-film-wonder. But as they say, ‘When the going gets tough, the tough gets going’, Hrithik Roshan proved everyone, who doubted his capabilities, wrong, and emerged as one of the biggest superstars of Bollywood.

Aptly called as the ‘Greek God’, Hrithik started his acting career by doing a cute, little dance steps in the song ‘Jane Hum Sadak Ke Logon Se’ from the movie 'Aasha'. Little did anyone know that the kid who danced along with ‘Jumping Jack’ Jeetendra, would one day become one of the best dancers of Bollywood. After a couple of unaccredited appearances in ‘Aap Ke Deewane’ and ‘Aas Paas’, Hrithik finally got to work with the ‘Thalaiva’ Rajnikanth, in the movie ‘Bhagwaan Dada’. He was just 12 at that time.

Hrithik then assisted his father, Rakesh Roshan, in four movies including ‘Karan Arjun’ and ‘Koyla’, before striking gold at the box-office with his debut movie as a lead actor – ‘Kaho Na… Pyaar Hai’. Directed by his father, ‘Kaho Na… Pyaar Hai’ was the biggest hit of 2000. Hrithik became a superstar overnight, but then followed a string of mediocre and flop movies, until the father-son duo reunited and gave the biggest hit of 2003 – ‘Koi… Mil Gaya’. After that, Hrithik didn’t look back. He started doing selective work, and gave hits like ‘Dhoom 2’, ‘Krrish’, ‘Jodha Akbar’, ‘Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara’, ‘Agneepath’, ‘Krrish 3’, ‘Bang Bang’, and critically acclaimed movies like ‘Lakshya’ and ‘Guzaarish’, unwittingly proving those people wrong who had said that he can only deliver in his father’s movies.

Today, Hrithik is one of the highest paid actors of Bollywood. But neither the success has come easily to him, nor has he allowed that success to get to his head. The motivational and inspirational quotes he tweets is a clear example of his level-headed nature.

As he turns 43 on 10th January, we present you 9 awesome lessons everyone can learn from our own superhero.

1. Convert Your Weakness Into Your Strength

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Life

hits you hard. But it takes you three seconds to decide if you are a superhero

or not. I am. - @iHrithik

Hrithik was born with two

thumbs in his right hand. To make things worse, his childhood was traumatised

with stammering. If that was not enough, he was diagnosed with severe lower-back

problem, and the doctors had ruled out any chances that a man with an extremely

fragile back like Hrithik had, could become an actor. Hrithik went through

speech therapy sessions, worked on his body, strengthened his back, and starred

in ‘Kaho Na… Pyaar Hai’. Rest, we all know, is just history. So, if you have

any weakness, don’t crib about it. Work hard, overcome your weakness, and

transform it into your strength.

2. Have A Positive Mindset

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You are a winner when you give your best, and when even in loss. The spirit remains undefeated. - @iHrithik

Hrithik believes in giving his best, and leaves the result on God. The effort he puts in his work is evident in his movies. He is the man who convincingly played the role of a paraplegic patient, a Mughal emperor, and a superhero. And then, he has the physique to die for, and he is one of the best dancers in the industry. He is the complete package, and all this comes from a positive mindset. Our aim should always be to stay positive, and keep giving our best.

3. Don’t Let Success Get Into Your Head

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True

power and true happiness is when you use your success to make others around you

feel even more significant. - @iHrithik

Nicknamed as ‘Duggu’, Hrithik has been constantly voted as one of the sexiest men in the world. He enjoys huge fan following across the globe. He is one of the highest paid actors today, and has earned a lot of awards too. But, those, who follow him closely, know that his feet are still on the ground. He has not forgotten that while assisting his father, he, sometimes, used to sweep floors as well. When you don’t forget from where you had started, no matter how successful you become, you will always stay grounded.

4. Learn From Your Failures

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Even in the darkest places decency, grace and love can persevere. Every calamity is just another opportunity. Grow. Evolve. Mind, Body, Spirit. - @iHrithik

Success may not teach you anything, but failure is always a lesson. Hrithik has seen a lot of failures too, just like all of us do. Movies like Lakshya, Kites, Guzaarish and Mohenjo Daro did not do well, but every time he has bounced back strongly. He never allows failure to affect him too much. In fact, he learns from them, and keeps delivering his best.

5. Overcome Your Fears

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If you are having a tough time today, push past those boundaries. Because, by challenging your fears, today will become the strength you feel tomorrow. Do what you fear. Don’t fear what you do. - @iHrithik

Hrithik himself did all his stunts in the movies like ‘Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara’, ‘Bang Bang’, ‘Mohenjo Daro’, and the 'Krrish' series. He believes in pushing his extremes. He believes in 'Defeating Defeat'. All of us have some kind of fears. Some of us are afraid of heights. Some of us are afraid of darkness. Some of us are even afraid to jump into swimming pools. The onus is on us to stay strong and overcome our fears.

6. Have A Peaceful Mind

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Happiness is overrated. It comes and goes, like sadness and misery. What’s important is peace. With All. - @iHrithik

Hrithik Roshan has seen almost everything in his life – childhood trauma, overnight success, massive fan following, string of failures, super-stardom, love marriage, controversies, divorce etc. What we all can learn from him is how to stay at peace when so much is going around us. He talks a lot about patience and peace, and it is evident in his work, which does not get affected by controversies or failures. When we have a relaxed mind, we always deliver our best.

7. Embrace Your Imperfections

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I

am lucky. Not because I got voted sexiest. Because I just noticed God gave me a

piece of ugly to carry with me to remind myself and others of how beautiful our

imperfections make us. - @iHrithik

No one is perfect. Not even Hrithik. But it is all about how you accept your imperfections, and move ahead in your life. Who would have thought that a lanky man, who stammers awfully, and has two thumbs in his right hand, will be repeatedly voted as one of the most handsome men in the world? The above tweet by Hrithik, in which he talks about how imperfections can make us beautiful, show how majestically he has transformed his imperfections into perfections.

8. Show Gratitude And Spread Love

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It’s

ok to be angry for what you don’t have as long as you have gratitude for what

you do have. Both can fuel the spirit. Rise. - @Hrithik

Success is temporary, and you should never forget the path and the people that led to your success. Therefore, it is important to stay thankful to them. Hrithik, via his tweets and interviews, has always showered gratitude to people like Salman Khan, who helped him in his journey. He is always full of love for his fans and supporters too. To add on, he is a complete family man. Despite his hectic schedule, he never forgets to take time out for his sons, parents, and friends.

9. Believe In Yourself

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Self belief. Self worth. Believing you can do it is half the battle won. - @iHrithik

Hrithik used to smoke a lot. But he quit smoking because he believed he could quit it. Many said he could not shake a leg, leave apart doing breathtaking dance moves. Today, he is among the best dancers in Bollywood. He went through a stammering problem, but he had faith in himself that he would be a star one day. And, he is certainly a superstar today. Self belief, indeed, is the first step towards your ultimate goal.

And apart from all these inspiring qualities, Hrithik is a fitness freak, which is certainly worth admiring. He never skips his workout, and is one of the fittest men in the industry. Stay Fit. Work Hard. Stay Grounded. Spread Love. That is Hrithik Roshan’s mantra, which we all can learn from him.

We wish ‘our superhero’ a very Happy Birthday, and all the best for his upcoming movie ‘Kaabil’.

P.S. - The tweets have been taken from Hrithik Roshan's official twitter handle - @iHrithik


Source for the Cover Image



















You

For The One Who Rests In The Grave: You, I'll Never Forget

~You will live on, in me, always ~

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Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there.
I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there.
I did not die. -Mary Elizabeth Frye

I will remember.

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http://www.missmalini.com

Now that I think about it, 9 seems too little.

But hey, I'm going to try and sum it up.

Here goes nothing:

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Dear Anxiety: Here Are 13 Things I Want You To Know

You are a part of me, you are not me.

1. You were the reason I woke up crying, everyday for months when I was 17. The reason I saw hatred everywhere I went, my vision clouded with self-doubt. I'm still trying to forgive you (and myself) for that.


2. There are days I taste salt on my cheeks and feel my tears form little rivulets along my body. I fear it'll turn into an ocean and drown me.

3. I haven't had a 'bad day' in weeks. It scares me. I can almost feel you snaking through my mind, hissing over me, scaled skin bruising mine.

4. You're the unwanted appendage. Like an appendix, constantly aching but no doctor in the world can carve you out. I'd give anything to cut you away, and leave you rot as I prosper.

5. I've spent nights wishing you were a physical ailment. Something the world could see as they struggle to understand. If you were a physical ailment, however, I don't think you'd be the appendix. You'd be a slight limp, holding me back I try to march forward. But march forward I will, even if it is slow.

6. You sometimes creep up on me, making it through my doors of self-love with a carefully crafted key. Those days aren't that bad, I can work through those days. Other times, however, you appear with an army of paranoia, breaking that precious door away with a hammer, chipping away at me bit by bit. That's the only way I put my panic attacks into words.


7. I am surrounded by people who say they love and care for me. I am surrounded by positivity and affection, by rainbows and unicorns, and every happy thing that exists in this vast universe. They are reminders that while you burden me, you do not make me a burden.

8. I am afraid to fall in love again, not because of the pain that paints my past, or the rejection that haunts my future. I am afraid of falling in love with someone who deserves so much more than the limited happiness that flows through my heart.

After all, how do I love someone if I struggle to love myself?

9. I don't really hate you (surprisingly). You're the reason I'm so sensitive to the pain I cause, the reason I work as hard as I do. I don't think I'd be where I am today without you, and for that , I am grateful. But honestly, I'd rather be a lazy underacheiver than have you as my life long companion.

10. I used to distinguish between 'anxiety me' and 'normal me'. Like you were a relative I lived in constant shame of, uninvited and loud. But I've slowly learned to accept that you are not the uninvited relative, you're a dark corner in my favourite room, ugly and ever present. You're only a room though, you are not the home. You are a part of me. You are not me.


11. I learned that my sadness may have been passed down to me, generation after generation. I used to look at my family tree and try to trace the roots of this sad, this paranoia- the roots of you. But then I saw my face (my father's chin and mother's mouth), and I remember that you, my dear, are the least of my inheritance.

12. I am a natural disaster, yes. I am a troubling kaliedoscope of storms, waves, hurricanes.

But you are my city, and everytime try to pollute my air, I will destroy you.

13. You've turned smaller and smaller, like an invisible needle in my haystack. How does it feel to know that while you struggle, everyday to survive-

I will live?

Feature Image Source: https://cdn.shopify.com/

Honestly, if you grew up with a mane that decides to wiggle up into a cluster of nonsense called curls, your life sucks. There are so many people in the world that living with this sickly growth called curly hair, and today, we call out the truth. Kangana, you listenin'?

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You

No One Is Coming To Save You

You have to pick yourself up and keep going.

https://ewedit.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/priyanka-chopra.jpg?w=612

We have way too often been presented with this romanticised idea, maybe through popular culture, movies or just the way our society is - that someone will come with answers to all our questions, someone will help us understand life and will lift all the difficulties we face. From that day on, we won't feel empty anymore. Whether it's a prince charming, a mentor, a partner, a few pills, or honestly even a magic potion - we're always looking for someone or something to make us feel happy and complete.

It's easy to become dependent on someone to pick up your broken pieces and glue you back together. We think we need something outside of ourselves to be complete, or to be fine. But the only person who can truly complete you, is you. And honestly, you are enough.

When you depend on other people to make you happy, you're pushing yourself down a rabbit hole of misery. It leads to unfair expectations and constant disappointments. You might be lucky and have wonderful people in your life who are always there for you - and they will listen to all your problems, perhaps guide you, offer you a helping hand, maybe even momentarily make you feel good - but they can't solve your problems for you. The problems, the emptiness will keep coming back till you look inside yourself. If you are honest with yourself and are in touch with who you are, there is nothing that you can't overcome, nothing that you can't achieve.

Every single person is capable of being the master of their own lives. You can't hold someone else responsible for building the life of your dreams for you. You have to believe that you will do it yourself - because you can! No one can make you feel as good, as satisfied, as blissful as you can make yourself feel. Make it a conscious effort from this moment, to not be dependent on anyone else for your happiness and you will fall in love with the freedom you experience!

Giphy

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Travel

Why Nepal Is One Of The Most Underrated Destinations Among Explorers

A place where skylines touch the earth.

Mountains. Shopping. Food. Lakes. Are you looking for any of these?

Let's go on a virtual trip to the country that has it all!

About 3 years ago, I packed my bags and started a journey to an unknown land where I'd never been before. I landed in Nepal and was thrown aback by the beautiful air that welcomed me at the airport. Since that moment, I was sure that something great is coming along with this vacation. For those who have always wondered about travelling to this fabulous country should not think twice and book their tickets because it's a destination that will inspire you to travel more.

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9 Things We Think Are A Way Of Life, But Are In Fact Choices We Should Make

Choices. Choices. So many choices.

Image Source - https://in.bookmyshow.com

Let me start by stating the obvious:

Living life isn't an involuntary response that's ingrained in our biology. Everything that we do, is taught to us by the immediate society that we've been raised in.

Take a minute to actually think about this. Still with me?

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Our Success Stories Are Different, And So Is Our Journey

Take your own sweet time to make your dreams come true!

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"Success!" It's a word that is closely associated with our decisions and dreams. For some, success is a milestone; a dream that glimmers tantalisingly in the distance. For others, success can be attained by living in the moment and reveling in everything that 'today' has to offer. Our perceptions of success are naturally different because we lead different lives. Every individual deals with unique circumstances and is bound to have a unique success story that defines their journey.

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With the long weekend just around the corner, aren't you all planning to give yourself a good break? There are endless places to explore in and around Bangalore. The holidays rolling out from 29th September to 2nd October only means that you have enough time to places and treat yourself to a good vacation. If you haven't planned already, here are a few places around Bangalore that you MUST visit.

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Entertainment

14 Ways In Which All Horror Movies Fool Us And We Still Fall For Them

Why is the house ALWAYS in the countryside?

http://bit.ly/2yl9n3x

Horror movies, friends, popcorn and cold drinks, with blankets wrapped all around. That is the perfect plan for a weekend. There are so many horror movies that we have binge-watched with friends and siblings that there are times we can almost predict what is going to happen, or maybe not get spooked at all. Amongst such moments, are the tried and tested, done and dusted, scenes and formulas of the genre of horror that we have watched countless number of times, but they still manage to scare us.

Let's take a look at some such instances, and tick off how many still manage to creep us out.

1. The house is almost always a big one, for a family of few, years old and on the outskirts where not even a bird flies by

http://bit.ly/2x81C3o

2. The house always has a bloody history and no one researches about the same before buying it. Wow, so intelligent.

http://bit.ly/2ykhq0R

3. The death of the pet. O god kill humans but leave the poor animal alone. It hurts!

http://bit.ly/2xbgqvB

4. It always starts with one person, and no one believes that person.

http://on.mtv.com/2fvr5da

5. The teens in the movie are almost always the assholes who try stuff like summoning spirits in the middle of the night, because that is the coolest thing to do, apparently.

http://bit.ly/2y9ZncL

6. A noise comes, the person goes to investigate, finds everything okay, laughs, and as soon as he turns, the scary music and the monster both attack!

http://bit.ly/2ffYMCw

7. The attic of the big house is almost always haunted, with lights not working, and the ghost makes an appearance wherever the flashlight beams.

http://bit.ly/2wBCduu

8. When you are absolutely sure that the ghost is gone, it reappears and makes the least suspecting person its victim.

http://bit.ly/2hdxWaT

9. People get the most ingenious idea of splitting up, only end up killed separately.

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10. If the child is freaking odd to the point of murdering someone, the parents still refuse to accept that a goddamn ghost has entered the child!

http://bit.ly/2ya0h99

11. Somehow, the couple who is having sex, always ends up dead.

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12. Why do you have to grab the shoulder of an already shit scared person, with chances being that the person would hit you hard with whatever is in hand?

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13. The music is a dead giveaway too! Most of the times I know when the ghost is going to attack before the moron on the screen.

http://bit.ly/2hd2bT7

14. Indifference towards oddities is supremely annoying. Blood dripping from roof? Ignore. Children walking with blank expression in the dead of the night? Ignore.

http://bit.ly/2ya0xVI

Eeeeps! I just shouted out loud when the nun from Conjuring 2 came on screen. Told you, we all fall for it, again and again. Did we miss any stereotypes? Type away in the comments.

Gobble

10 Magical Dishes From Harry Potter That You Can, And Should Try In Your Kitchen

Who said muggles can't taste a bit of magic?

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"Harry Potter is literally the only that'll get me actually making stuff in the kitchen."

- Farishte Irani, the day she came across Harry Potter dish recipes.

J.K. Rowling created a truly beautiful universe with Harry Potter. One of bravery, love, friendship, ghosts, ancient castles, and most importantly, absolutely AH-MAZE-ING food. I mean, seriously, one of my favourite parts of the series was the Christmas feast in the first book. It had me salivating and dreaming about some beautifully delicious (and imaginary) things. But the Harry Potter fandom, that beautiful thing decided to make my dreams a reality by mouth-watering recipes for all these dishes. And after months of searching and reading through a billion pages on the internet, I present to you, my fellow Potterheads, a list of all the things you can experience right in your home.

1. Butterbeer

Okay, so after scouring the internet and looking, and looking, and looking some more, I FINALLY found a nice Butterbeer recipe for the...grown ups, that didn't involve a fancy foreign ingredient I had never heard of. It's easy, delicious, and will probably take you to Hogsmead even if you don't have that Hogwarts letter.

2. Acid Pops, Licorice Wands, Cockroach Clusters.

TBH, I was mostly just looking for Acid Pop recipes when I came across all three. Happy getting diabetes, everyone!

3. Pumpkin Juice

Made this. Basically the only time I actually put any effort in the kitchen. And it was SO TASTY. Also, Apricot nectar is basically just a concentrate of apricot, which is easy to make and easily available. Best. Thing. Ever.

4. Butterbeer ice cream

Remember Florean Fortescue? And the delicious sounding ice cream there? An absolute classic is the Butterbeer ice cream (or butterbeer anything, really).

5. Felix Felicis (liquid luck)

​"​If taken in excess, it causes giddiness, recklessness, and dangerous overconfidence," said Slughorn. "Too much of a good thing, you know… highly toxic in large quantities. But taken sparingly, and very occasionally…" - ​Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince

So, there's no real description to how Felix Felicis tastes. All we know is that it's of a rich, gold colour, and makes uoi feel lucky. Alcohol does that. So I went ahead and found the booziest Felix Felicis recipe I could. You're welcome.​

6. Pumpkin Pasties

It's been mentioned in literally EVERY Harry Potter book, and was the first thing he bought off the cart in the train. Of course, this particular item is for the serious cooks, so I haven't tried this recipe out myself. I have tasted it though, and it's delish.

7. Chocolate Frogs

I mean, these don't come with cards, but they're still super tasty. You can always imagine the cards. Just as you probably enjoy imagining your Hogwarts letter.

8. Polyjuice Potion

So this probably won't make you look like someone else, and I recommend that you DO NOT add random body parts to this. The Polyjuice Potion of the books is supposed to taste absolutely disgusting. Luckily, this only looks like the Polyjuice Potion of the books though.

9. Fever Fudge

Part of Fred and George's Skiving Snackbox, this fudge is supposed to make kids who want to bunk class sick for a very limited amount of time (just enough to convince the teacher to let them bunk). This won't make you sick though. I think.

10. Firewhisky

I'M NOT TRYING TO MAKE YOU DRUNK I SWEAR! It's just that like Ron, I always wanted to try Firewhisky. And now I can. Because I'm all grown up. Kinda.

2 YouTube channels that I found to be a complete treasure for hungry Potterheads were Bryton Taylor and The Disney Diner. They basically have an entire series on Harry Potter food. It's beautiful.

Lifestyle

This Spoken Word Poem About the Education System Is BANG ON

We don't need no education!

Image Source - https://assets.rbl.ms/10221414/origin.jpg
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Letter To A Possessive Partner

Being possessive is natural human behaviour.

Credit: Hina Yadav

Dear Possesive Partner,

How are you?

You are not relaxed. You are not comfortable.

You are scared, afraid and restless.

Is it okay or is it not?
I guess the answer would differ to who you love and care about.

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Lifestyle

Are You A Nice Person Or Just A Pushover?

How people who are too nice don't know where to draw the line.

When Piya (now 30) started working in 2008, she was made the official driver, official administrator, official HR and much more because she did not know how to say 'no'. So much so, that at 30 life is still the same. She is still official driver, official administrator…you get the drift. A closer investigation revealed that deep under a person who cannot say 'no' is a cribber, someone who is perpetually frustrated and never really positive about life.

Sounds familiar? Know people like Piya and want to yell out to them to stand up for themselves? Well, I understand Piya as my story is similar to hers. While I genuinely want to help people and do not say no only because I don't want to hurt them, I know how I generally feel 'taken for granted' by the end of it all. A recent experience had me deeply introspect and I realised that a nice person is also a 'people-pleaser', 'attention and approval seeker'. What's worse? Some people are genuinely nice, but fall under the same bracket.

If you are someone who works for universal good and universal kindness, trust me there is no place for you in this world. Maybe you should try gaining early access to Mars (if it is not already infested with Earth-like-beings). And if you want to survive on earth and still be good, do as I say.

Rule no 1:



Go with your gut. Your gut, loosely put a digestive organ and philosophically put, a feeling or reaction based on an instinctive emotional response rather than considered thought, is always right! Before being a martyr, pause for only 5 seconds and think of why you are saying yes. Are you saying yes, because…

  • You are benefiting from the task?
  • You are going to learn from it?
  • Or you are going to earn for it?
  • How important is the person requesting for the task in your scheme of things and so on…

If you are not convinced with any of the above or even with 50% of the questions below, say no.

Rule no 2:


Say NO! Oh, I forgot. We are talking about people who even spell N-O as Y-E-S. In case you are among them, practice. I can only say, saying no, requires gumption. It also requires gaining self-worth. Love yourself and do not worry about consequences. If bad things have to happen, they will even if you say yes. So, why suffer the heart burn, just say N-O and move on.

Rule no 3:



Hand around with friends who rock at saying NO: Trust me, this helps! Especially with the millennials who are well equipped to speak their mind, hand around with them and observe them. You will rock at saying no, as these are people who hardly say yes and will ask a 100 questions before doing so.

Added bonus, you also get an image boost and build up your attitude in the process. Try this out, but here, definitely learn when to say no!

Rule no 4:



Don't think too much about the future: I know the feeling of wanting to say NO with your heart and soul and saying yes instead due to FEAR. Kick fear out. Fear is a balloon. The more you blow in air, the more it will grow. Forget it exists. Forget the consequences. Be a boss and say no. Kal ka kal dekha jayega. While this might sound like I am high and am doling out free advice, all I can say is gaining self-worth and respect is very tough. The more you say no, the more you will respect yourself. Try it out.

Rule no 5:



Please yourself before other people: Hate something, but yet end up doing it as you were too scared of consequences? Hate your job? Hate your life and hate everything else? Well don't. Take just 1 step back. See the bigger picture. While you are generally not the centre of the universe, you are important to yourself. Your happiness is important to feed your soul and your wellbeing is important to those who care. Look deep inside and do what pleases you. Start small, you don't have to make it large immediately. But, with small steps, you will definitely end up pleasing one person – yourself.

The fact of the matter is that no one is worth your time and effort. People do take advantage. So, even if you are an optimist and view life through rose or orange tinted glasses, the best thing to do is to be happy. Think of yourself first and the rest will fall in place.

***

I remember the first time I picked up a Mary Higgins Clark novel. I was fresh out of school, and a total sucker for the genre of mystery in books. After having read each and every Agatha Christie my school library had to offer, Mary Higgins Clark's 'Let Me Call You Sweetheart's' blurb attracted me so, that I picked it up immediately.

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You

7 Ways to Show Your Ex You Want Them Back Instead of Just Saying It

Because actions matter more than words.

Image Source - https://i.pinimg.com/originals/aa/35/a5/aa35a5d376d6ca7b50afffec1d8fd119.jpg

Looking at a person and saying "I want you back" is the worst thing you could do to win them over.

It's like a baby learning about fire. If they burn themselves once, or even feel more heat than they can tolerate, chances are they may never go back near that source of pain, until they know how to maneuver around it without hurting themselves. You may have a fire covered in a glass jar and try to tell them its safe, but until they are sure it's safe - your words will mean nothing.

So why would someone, who has already been on the roller coaster with you want to return only because YOU want to get on it a second time? What security can you provide them with, before asking for something this risky from them?

How would you convince them that since you've been through it once, you know the areas where you need to be better prepared, the areas where you need to react differently and the areas where your partner needs you to be there for them?

Here's how:

1) Don't talk about them in public (at all!)

The whole point is to 'show' them your sincerity and not utter words that may sound like hollow promises.

Oh, and this includes the so called 'positive' things you would want to say because you think it may score you some brownie points. It's simple -

a) if you talk trash, it goes against your desires and

b) even if you try and say something positive, it may be construed as sarcasm or false pretenses.

The best thing to do is to maintain pin drop silence about the whole affair and only ever mention anything about the relationship in front of your ex, if and when you reconnect.

2) Don't play the victim. Don't be the victim either.

Life did not just 'happen' to you. It was a result of the decisions you made (or failed to make!) and the actions you took towards them. Take responsibility for it. Only then will you stand a chance of changing your future.

Plus, no one would want to return to someone whose life seems like a complete mess. Show your ex, that you are okay without them. That you can live without them if you must, but you as a choice, want them back in your life.

3) Understand boundaries!

You must make yourself understand that it is you who wants your ex back. You don't know if they want you back.

Essentially, you are on two different pages entirely in life and therefore, displays of affection, of desire, of apologies that may be okay for you, may be overly excessive for them. Making them feel pressured, stalked, disturbed, cornered or just weirded out is not going to serve your cause.

Instead, listen to you ex, stay within their comfort zone and not yours. Making them feel respected will be, without a doubt, a hell of a lot more useful!

4) Stay single (for a set period of time) even if they don't!

Again! YOU WANT THEM BACK. You don't know how they feel!

Maybe they need to explore the world a little bit. Maybe they need space. Maybe they need to see whether or not they can survive without you. Maybe they are just doing whatever they can to get over you. They don't owe it to you to wait.

However, when it comes to you, messing around with strangers is going to end up defeating your cause, if not entirely destroying it. So even if its hard, stay single. It's one of the best ways to show that you are waiting for them. and are willing to patiently wait till they are willing to decide whether or not you are right for them.

5) Be available when they need you, in whichever form they need you in.

There will be a time when they may call asking for a favor. Or when they simply want to talk. Just reconnect for the sake of nostalgia.

Whenever this time comes, be there for them. As an acquaintance. A friend. A human being. Be there without expecting anything in return. Be available so you are no more strangers. And when you do, make the awkwardness go away in a second. If your thoughts are sincere, your aura will be too.

This is when you can tell them you want them back, but also let them know that you don't want to ask them to return till you've done everything you can to make them want to come back on their own. And then leave it at that.

6) As a final attempt - Complete that one big gesture you had said you would for them

The 'big' here doesn't define the size or the quantity, but talks about an act of love that would mean the most to them. It may have been something they had been requesting you to do for a long time - a quality of yours they would have liked to see enhanced, a commitment towards a job / business / a life goal that they wished you'd made, giving up on an habit that was self detrimental to you - anything that would prove your dedication through action.

Your must be thinking that this sounds risky. What will come of this gesture that you may spend an insane amount of time / energy / money on, if your ex refuses to return?

Lets consider all scenario's:

a) +ve outcome: This may be the tipping point they need to get over their fears about failing at the love game with youagain.

b) -ve outcome: This warms their heart, but it's not what they want in life anymore. In this case, if its a material good - you can sell it/ donate it. And if its a quality, you've just built yourself into being a better human. At least now, when they think of you, they will think with fondness and not regret.

7) Most Importantly - Don't expect them to come back just because you've put in the efforts.

You've moved mountains of them before and now, despite the distance, you've reached to the stars and brought them the moon. But if your ex is looking for the sun, it's best in the long run if they don't return.

Please remember, you are doing this for you. Because you want them back. None of the above gestures are a 'favour' to them. These are for your peace of mind. So even if it doesn't work out, you know you did your best and then some.

These methods may not win you your ex back, but it'll be as sincere an effort as it can get.

And even if it doesn't work out, you'll move on in life as a dignified soul having gone above and beyond to make it work.

Optimism

A Letter To My Younger Self

To letting go and forgiving yourself.

https://goo.gl/images/NDanZw

Hey, Kiddo!

Been long that I sat back, introspected and gave a thought about you, or the person I was earlier.Today, I happened to sit on the balcony with my usual cup of tea and suddenly, before I realized, I traveled back in time and nostalgia took over!

Whenever I've looked back and thought of the past, I've always blamed you and told myself that you were downright immature and silly. You know why I've always taken you for someone who's irresponsible and stupid, right? You did make quite a few mistakes and maybe, I regretted those way too much. I always felt as though your actions ruined many things for me. Earlier when glimpses of the past crossed my mind, I'd just wonder as to how you could have made such irreversible mistakes. In this whole blame game scenario, I almost forgot that to err is human and you were just being human, all this while.

Today, after all the time I spent thinking and over thinking about the past, I'm glad to let you know that I don't see the past as I used to. I'm not saying that you didn't make mistakes or that you were perfect. You were neither perfect nor angelic. You've made your share of blunders and today, I'd like to let you know that it's totally fine. Today, I'm who I'm only because of the lessons I learnt every time you made a mistake.

Yes! There were times in the past when I felt dejected and horrible but I also learnt a lot during those times. I've run from the past for quite some time now but no more! I think it's about time to accept the past and get over it. I've had my share of rough times and that's okay! I don't want to run away from who I was. Today, I'm glad that you made all of those horribly silly mistakes because, without them, I wouldn't be half as strong as I am now.

Thank you for teaching me that life's not perfect and it will never be. The whole point of it is to learn and to find perfection within imperfection. Your past might not have been fabulous but that's alright, you learnt and that's enough.

Thank you for every bit!

Much love,

Your Oldie!

http://bit.ly/2h70yCC

Yeah, we know we write an awful lot about Harry Potter. But, we just can't help it. After all, ten years is no less a time period, and the books and the movies combined saw us through our school, college, and even our first breakups, to be honest. Hence, our love for the franchise. But hey, we do know that there are many potterheads amongst our readers, who do love a little bit of Potter dosage every now and then.

Though we love the movies, sometimes we do wonder what the movies would have been like with these characters. Hence, a list of such beings from the books, for you to peruse.

1. Peeves

http://bit.ly/2vYv3B0

Well, the poltergeist was indeed an integral part of the castle. And who can forget the salute he gave the Weasley twins to give hell to Umbridge?

2. Mrs. Longbottom

http://bit.ly/2jwp8Sb

Neville's formidable grandmother could have even given Olenna Tyrell a run for her money. Contrary to sweetlings her age, she was one badass woman who called spade a spade and was not afraid of being on the right side, no matter how dangerous it may be.

3. Charlie Weasley

http://bit.ly/2fbr3tZ

It hurts a little that two of the coolest Weasley brothers were given a miss by the makers. Yes, Bill was there in the seventh instalment, but that was just a namesake appearance.

4. Mr and Mrs Tonks

http://bit.ly/2xFdH0r

The concept of seven Harrys was a little half-cooked in the movie, wherein they completely skipped one layer of protection given to Harry, i.e. of every Harry Potter (under Polyjuice Potion), landing at one of the seven heavily protected houses, and then bein transported to the Weasleys, via a Portkey. Hence, no mention of Ted and Andromeda Tonks, who, by the way, was Tonks' mother and Bellatrix Lestrange's twin sister. Neither was her muggle husband Ted mentioned.

5. Barny Weasley

http://bit.ly/2h6MGby

Another layer of protection done away with in the movies. This was a fake identity given to Harry in Bill and Fleur's wedding, just to protect him, for you never know which of the guests may have had too much wine to blurt out that they had seen Harry Potter at the Weasleys.

6. Ludo Bagman

http://bit.ly/2jwUUOQ

One of the coolest characters of the fourth book was not in its movie adaptation. The Quidditch champion of his own time and a ministry official, Ludo's absence was surely a blow.

7. The Gaunts

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Even though the sixth movie was accurate enough, while delving into Voldemort's past, no mention of the Gaunts was ever made. Strange, given that the whole purpose of Dumbledore giving Harry lessons was to know about Voldemort and how to destroy him. By not mentioning the Gaunts, the movie totally overlooked the fact that how Voldemort came to be.

8. Winky

http://bit.ly/2x5EY9i

Another major character from the fourth book given a miss. Winky was the major reason for Hermione being so active about Elf rights and starting up the organisation S.P.E.W., which too was not mentioned in the movies. Also, since Winky was not mentioned, a major chunk of Barty Crouch's story too remains unexplained in the movie, for example, Barty Crouch's escape from Azkaban and his sustanance at his father's house before he ultimately joined the Dark Lord.

9. Hepzibah Smith

http://bit.ly/2wvglB3

Just like the Gaunts, the memory showcasing Hepzibah Smith was crucial enough too, to explain Voldemort's obsession with everything related to Hogwarts, and how he did not flinch before murdering and putting the blame on someone else.

10. The Muggle Prime Minister

http://bit.ly/2xFBJJ0

Those of you who have watched the movies must be wondering what this is. Well, the sixth movie thwarted an entire chapter where we were introduced to a very important political meeting, that between the magical Prime Minister and the muggle one, to ensure that both the worlds exist without any interference from each other, yet be aware of what is going on. A perfect political explanation of how intricately the two worlds were linked.

11. Bertha Jorkins

http://bit.ly/2xFt5tM

The nosy and slightly dim worker from the ministry was the one who put the whole chain of events in motion, in the fourth book, when Wormtail came across her and brought her to Voldemort, who eventually broke through the memory charms to extract the information of Quidditch World Cup and Triwizard Tournament from her. Her absence was really a link lost.

Did we miss any characters crucial to the narrative and who were not in the movie? Type away in the comments and let us know.